Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction
by Samantha J. Mulder
Summary: An X-FilesHP crossover. Mulder and Arthur investigate UFOs, aliens abduct Harry and steal Ron's pants, Snape wears a pink dress and much more insanity...CH 4 IS UP! Bask in it's randomness...
1. Of UFOs and Wizards

A/n: What happens when a crazed writer reads Harry Potter, watches the X-Files and drinks too much Mt. Dew late at night? THIS!! A Harry Potter/X-Files cross-over parody. Yes…much insanity. This first chapter isn't quite as humorous as the rest will be; I just wanted to set everything up. Enjoy.

**Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction**

**Ch.**** 1: And so it begins…**

            Dana Scully sighed and ran a hand through her auburn hair as she stood behind her partner, Fox Mulder, in line in a small Washington DC airport. She heaved her duffel bag further onto her shoulder as she followed him through her terminal all the while wondering how she could have let Mulder talk her into this.

            About an hour into their flight, Scully's curiosity got the best of her. She turned to Mulder and said, "Explain to me again why I'm on a flight to England on the first day of my week off? The only thing I could understand from your ramblings on the phone was something about wizards and UFOs…I sincerely hope I heard wrong."

            Mulder grinned at her. "Nope, you heard right. A friend of mine, Arthur Weasley- who I met when I studied in London during college-remembered that I'm a big UFO buff and asked me if I could come investigate something for him."

            "Ok…sounds fair enough but where do wizards come in?"

            "Oh, Weasley's a wizard," Mulder said quite off-handedly, as if there were nothing unusual at all.

            This did not amuse Scully. "Mulder, you're telling me that I'm going all the way to England to investigate UFOs spotted by some college buddy of yours who thinks he's a wizard?!?"

            "Yup…except he really is a wizard. He sent me pictures of his flying Ford Anglina."

            Mulder reached into his briefcase, pulled out some pictures and handed them to Scully. She looked at them and jumped. The pictures, which showed a tall, red-headed man in a flying car, were moving. "Mulder…."

            "Oh, I forgot to tell you. They're wizard pictures. They move." Mulder looked at the one on top and grinned as Arthur Weasley waved jovially at him. Scully sighed again….this was going to be a long trip.

            Meanwhile, at the Burrow, Molly Weasley sighed. Of all the crazy things Arthur had done, this certainly made the top five. He had invited some Muggle friend of his from America to come investigate something or other with him at Hogwarts. It was insane. Arthur bounced through the back door, just home from work at the Ministry. "Hello Molly!" He called, coming into the living room where she was bewitching a feather duster to clean. "I can't believe Fox Mulder is actually going to be here today!" He grinned broadly.

            "Yes…" Molly clearly was not as excited as he was.

            Arthur glanced at his watch. "Gallopin' gargoyles! Is that the time? I have to get down to the…the…air-whatchamacallit to pick up Fox! See you later Molly!"

            Arthur dashed out of the house and Molly soon heard him start of the engine of his latest bewitched car-a 1967 Shelby he bought off a man in the Hog's Head who didn't know what it was. 

            When Scully followed Mulder into the terminal at Heathrow airport, she didn't know what to expect next. Just as she was hoisting her duffel bag onto her shoulder she saw a tall, slightly balding, red-headed man running towards them. "MULDER!" He shouted and Mulder turned around. Mulder's eyes lit up and a wide grin spread across his face when he saw Arthur. "WEASLEY!" 

            Arthur reached them and shook hands with Mulder so vigorously that Scully thought he was going to dislocate Mulder's shoulder. Arthur notice Scully and grinned. "Hey, Fox, is this the wife?"

            "Ha, he wishes!" Scully muttered with a grin. 

            Mulder grinned too. "You know it, Scully." He turned back to Arthur and said, "This is Dana Scully. She's my partner at the FBI. Federal Beaueru of Investigation." Seeing the look of confusion on Arthur's face Mulder added, "We're kind of like the Muggle version of Aurors."

            "Ah, ok." Arthur, satisfied with this explanation, turned to Scully. "Please to meet you, Ms. Scully. Fox has told me quite a lot about you." He winked at her. "C'mon, the cars out this way."

            As they made their way to the car, Mulder said, "Hey, Arthur, would you mind laying off the 'Fox'? I usually just go by Mulder."

            "No problem, mate. Tonks is the same way."

            "Tonks?"

            "A friend of mine. She's an Auror. I'll introduce you to her; I think you two will get along fine."

            By now the trio had piled into the car and Arthur started it up and headed off to the Burrow, driving very badly. 

            "So Arthur, what do you do for a living?" Scully inquired as he narrowly missed a mailbox.

            "Oh, I work at the Ministry of Magic, Misuse of Muggle Artifacts Office."

            "The ministry of what?"

            "Magic."

            Scully leaned back in her seat, very confused. 

            It wasn't long before Arthur piloted the car into the garage at the Burrow. He led them inside and found his wife in the kitchen. 

            "Molly!" He said when he saw her. "Molly, I'd like you to meet Fox Mulder and Dana Scully. Better know as just Mulder and Scully, I believe. Mulder, Scully, meet my wife, Molly."

            "How'd you do?" Molly said, shaking each of their hands in turn. 

            Scully looked around the kitchen, taking everything in. The kitchen utensils making dinner on their own, the clock that told there whereabouts of each Weasley, the knitting needles knitting a swear midair…it was all too much. 

            Arthur interrupted her thoughts. "You'll get to meet four of the seven kids tomorrow when we go to Hogwarts," he said. "Tonight we'd all better get a good night's sleep, right Mulder?"

            "Yeah, we'll need our strength to catch those aliens, eh, Scully?" Mulder said with a grin.

            Scully just stood there, still staring at everything around her. Flying cars? Ministry of Magic? Muggles? Wizards? Out of everything she'd ever seen working on the X-Files, this was defiantly the weirdest….

A/n: MUCH MORE TO COME!! Don't worry, I'm just getting started! They haven't even gotten to Hogwarts yet…that's when the fun will really begin! What's coming up you ask? Well, Snape in a frilly pink dress, Sirius and Lupin cause a bar fight, Hermione, Tonks and Scully go ten rounds with Jose Cuervo, aliens show up to abduct Harry and steal Ron's pants and Ginny falls in love with Mulder….just to name a few things….yes, it shall be BRILLANT!! Anyway…REVIEW!! The more you review, the faster the next chapter will come!! 

~Mulder

Stay tuned for chapter two: Snape's New Look

D/C: JK Rowling owns Harry Potter and Chris Carter owns the X-Files, that's why they're rich and I'm working at Disneyland. All I own is the random insanity. 


	2. Snape's New Look

A/n: Before this chapter gets started, I'd like to clarify a few things for y'all so I don't look stupid. 1) I realize that in the HP universe most of the stuff in here isn't possible/wouldn't happen because Mulder and Scully are Muggles-such as they wouldn't be able to see Hogwarts, etc. I've read all the HP books several times through (except 5-only once) and know the rules but for the sake of comedy we're going to pretend, alright? Ok, good. 2) We're also going to pretend that there are no X-Files or HP timelines. Yes, I have the powers to warp time and space, I'm the author. 3) Thanks for all the great reviews! It scares me to know that people read this insanity…but keep it up!! 4) Yes, I know I should be committed…but on the bright side, it's my insanity that fuels the humor!! Now, let's get on with this….I've rambled enough for now…

**Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction**

**Ch.2: Snape's New Look**

Scully groaned and pulled the Chudley Cannons bedspread over head as Mulder pounded on the bedroom door, saying, "Scully! Wake up Scully!" The last thing Scully wanted to do was wake up. Waking up meant that all this wasn't a dream; that she really had let Mulder drag her to England to search for UFO with his wizard buddies. Mulder pounded on the door even harder and Scully dragged herself out of bed, yelling, "Alright, alright, I'm up!" 

            "Good! I'll see you downstairs for breakfast!" Mulder said through the door. Scully quickly got dressed and descended to the kitchen to join the Weasleys and Mulder for breakfast. Soon Arthur, Mulder and Scully were off to Hogwarts. 

            After another horrifying car ride, the trio arrived a Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Arthur led them inside and was greeted by a several red-headed kids. 

            "Scully, Mulder, I'd like you to meet a few of my kids. The twins are Fred and George, that's Ron, and this is Ginny. These are Ron's friends, Harry Potter and Hermione Granger."

            Fred and George grinned, shaking hands with Mulder. "Are you the UFO expert Dad's been going on about?"

            "That's me," Mulder said then turned to Harry. "And you're THE Harry Potter? I know all about you!"

            "But you're a Muggle!"

            "Yes, but a Muggle who happens to know quite a lot about unexplained phenomena and the unknown. I know quite a few wizards."

            "Wow…" 

            "Pleased to meet you, Ms. Scully," Hermione was saying. 

            "Nice to meet you too. You can just call me Scully."

            At that exact second Severus Snape can charging down the stairs. The group gathered there all looked at him and burst into hysterical laughter. He was wearing a frilly pink dress and a very angry look on his face. 

            "POTTER! WEASLEY!" He shouted. "I know you did this!"

            Arthur could barely contain his laughter long enough to spit out, "I assure you, Snape, that Ron and Harry have been right here with me. What happened?"

            Snape, still looking extremely angry, yet quite pretty, said, "I was sitting in my office when all the sudden I saw a bright flash of light. The next thing I know I was wearing THIS!" He cast a furious downward glance at his apparel. 

            "Oh but Professor, it's really your color!" Fred said.

            "Yeah, it's quite you! You'll be the bell of the ball in that! All the girls will be jealous!" George said through his laughter. 

            "I feel pretty, oh so, pretty…" Fred began. George joined in and the two sang loudly until Snape shouted, "WEASLEY!!!"

            They stopped and Arthur turned to Mulder, "Well, Mulder, unexplained phenomena is your area of expertise…any thoughts?" He jerked a thumb towards the oh-so-pretty in pink Snape.

            "Well…" Mulder stared at the pink clad professor thoughtfully for a moment before snapping his fingers and saying, "Aliens!"

            "Aliens?" The rest of the group echoed in surprise.

            "Of course!" Mulder said as if it were as plain as the ugly nose on Snape's face. "A bright flash of light, lost time, strange clothing, it all points to one obvious solution. Extraterrestrials abducted him."

            "Are you saying that aliens abducted Professor Snape and dressed him in a frilly pink dress just for the heck of it?" Hermione questioned, looking up at Mulder. 

            "Yes, I must certainly am." Mulder grinned. "I could explain it if we had some place to sit down."

            "Well…" Arthur thought for a moment. "Perhaps we should all go over to the Three Broomsticks. Yeah, that should be good."

            "Alright," said Mulder, "lead the way."

            The trek to Hogsmead was short but interesting. In the front, Arthur was talking excitedly to Mulder about the possibility of UFO's at Hogwarts. Trailing slightly behind Mulder and staring at him in a love-induced trance was Ginny, who seem to be quite taken with his dashing good looks. Behind her, Snape, still in his lovely attire slumped along staring at the ground. Fred and George followed him, chorusing "I Feel Pretty" once more at the top of their lungs. Harry and Ron weren't far behind and could barely stop from falling over in hysterical laughter. Bringing up the rear were Scully and Hermione who were discussing the what seemed to them to be the logical, scientific explanation of the Snape situation. Scully grinned a bit, she felt a little more grounded now that she had finally found another voice of reason. Little did she know what insanity was waiting just inside the Three Broomsticks…

TBC of course!!!

A/n: Much more insane that the first chapter, no? REVIEW!! The more you review the more motivated I become to write the next chapter faster!! ^.^  So…what next? Well, old Snape's going to keep the dress, of course, Tonks, Lupin and Sirius are going to show up, Ginny's going to "put the moves" on Mulder and Hermione, Tonks and Scully are going to find out what it's like in Margaritaville. Keep reviewing!

~Mulder

Chapter 3: Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo--coming soon to a computer screen near you!

Disclaimer: X-Files--Chris Carter  Harry Potter--JK Rowling  

Snape's dress--Martha Stewart


	3. Ten Rounds With Jose Cuervo

A/n: I have come back from the dead in order to finish this story!! Just kidding. I haven't been in the land of death just in Tommarowland….and Frontierland….and Adventureland….to make a long story short (too late) I've been working too many late shifts (at Disneyland) which means I don't get a lot of writing done since I write best late at night. Anyway, I bet you thought I'd forgotten about this, didn't you? Admit it. Ah, ye of little faith. As the ancient saying goes, you can take the author away from FanFiction.net but you can't take the fan fiction out of the author. Or something like that. What say we just (in the words of Monty Python) "Get on with it!"

Special Thanks To: My friend Nathan for giving me many good suggestions (like the addition of Luna Lovegood) that have helped make this story even more insane. What can I say, the man knows randomness.

**Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction**

**Chapter 3: Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo**

When the odd group lead by Arthur Weasley and Fox Mulder entered the Three Broomsticks they attracted quite a few stares. Fred, George, Ron and Harry were still serenading Snape who was still flaunting the frilly pink dress; Mulder and Arthur were loudly and excitedly discussing all sorts of extreme and unorthodox theories involving aliens and UFOs; Ginny was trailing behind Mulder in a love induced stupor and Scully was telling Hermione about all the trials of working with Fox Mulder. 

            As soon as they walked in they spotted some familiar faces. Seated at the bar were Tonks, Sirius and Lupin and at a small table in a corner sat Luna Lovegood. Arthur was practically shaking with excitement at the site of the three at the bar. He greeted them excitedly and dragged Mulder and Scully to his side for introductions. 

            "Lupin, Tonks, Sirius, this is an old friend of mine from the states, Fox Mulder and his partner, Dana Scully. Their FBI agents, sort of the Muggle equivalent of Aurors."

            "Really?" Tonks jumped up, grinning broadly. "You track down criminals?"

            "Sort of." Mulder replied. "Except Scully and I are in the business of tracking down…more unusual sorts of criminals."

            Arthur's eyes lit up. "Like what?"

            "Alien bounty hunters, shadow governments, man-eating creatures, Cigarette-Smoking men who plot cover-ups and of course, good old fashioned extraterrestrials."

            Arthur was almost drooling in excitement. "Wow….and these…these extraterrestrials…these aliens…you think they're here at Hogwarts?"

            Mulder grinned. "Yup. Have a seat, I'll explain my theory to you."

            Mulder and Arthur took seats at a near by table along with Ginny and Luna who were both drooling over Mulder in a puppy lust. 

            Scully rolled her eyes and muttered, "Oh brother, here we go again," and took a seat at the bar in between Tonks and Hermione. 

            Snape had taken a seat in a dark corner of the tavern, trying to keep a low profile and attention away from his attire. His efforts were undermined, however, by the antics of the Weasley twins, Harry and Ron and soon, Sirius and Lupin. 

            Scully glanced back at Mulder, who was talking passionately to Arthur and had Ginny and Luna practically falling in his lap. She sighed, muttered "Oh brother," once again under her breath and buried her head in her hands. 

            Tonks noticed the FBI agent's dismay and patted her on the shoulder. "Hey, how about a drink, mate?"

            Scully looked up at her. "Sounds great." She cast one more look over her shoulder at her partner and he female and fans and then turned to the bar tender and said in a very in-Scully like way, "Give me a shot of Jose Cuervo!" She looked from Tonks to Hermione. "A shots for my friends too, on me!"

            The bar tender look surprised. "I never thought anyone would ever order this Muggle stuff. I just keep it around for show." He shrugged and pulled a tequila bottle of a high shelf and pour three shots which he dished out in turn to Tonks, Scully and Hermione. 

            Scully raised her shot glass. "Well, here's to love and logic…" Scully downed her drink.

            "To the scientific explanation…" Hermione hesitated for a second but then swallowed the shot fallowing the suit of her new idol. 

            Tonks, having never seen tequila before, examined the drink before she shrugged and said with a grin, "I'll try anything once!" She took the shot and grinned. "Hey that's good stuff!"

            "Well, let's have another round!" Scully smiled to herself. She, always the professional, couldn't remember the last time she'd even seen tequila. Now seemed like the perfect opportunity to get to know old Jose Cuervo a little better.

            The bar tender dished another round…then another…and another…Pretty soon Scully, Tonks and Hermione were drunk beyond recognition so of course, they began singing…And Scully taught her two drinking buddies a new song for the occasion. 

            "I walked in the band just started, the singer couldn't carry a tune in a bucket. I was on a mission to drown her memory but I thought no way with all this ruckus! But after one round with Jose Cuervo I caught my boots tappin' 'long with the beat and after two rounds with Jose Cuervo that band was soundin' pretty darn good to me," the trio sang, attempting country accents but failing miserably. 

            Meanwhile, Harry, Ron, Sirius, Lupin and the twins were busy tormenting Snape, who was sucking on a bottle of butterbeer. After awhile, the lace trimmed professor couldn't take it any more. "Would you just SHUT UP!!!" He shouted and threw his bottle at Fred.  Fred ducked instinctively and the bottle hit a large wizard at a nearby table. He turned around and growled, "Who threw that?"

            Everyone pointed to Snape and Snape pointed at Sirius. The large wizard stood up, grabbed a bar stool and lobbed it at Snape but missed, barley missing Lupin. 

            "Hey!" Sirius protested. He grabbed a nearby shrubbery, took aim, and chucked it at the large wizards head. It hit him full force and a full out bar fight began.

            Harry and Ron looked at each other. "Uh, what do you say we get out of here, mate?" Ron asked, ducking a butterbeer bottle.

            "Sounds good!" Harry sputtered, leaning back to avoid the punch Snape was blindly throwing at Lupin. 

            The pair snuck out, leaving Sirius, Lupin, Snape and the delighted Weasley twins to carry on the brawl. 

            Meanwhile, back at the bar, Tonks, Scully and Hermione were still slaughtering Tracy Byrd's song, their mangled country accents worsening with each line. "Well round five, round six, I forgot what I came to forget….and after round seven….or was it eight? I bought a round for the whole dang place!" 

            By now they were singing loud enough that the could be heard even over the ruckus of the full on bar fight, even when a tall witch picked up Snape and chucked him through the front window. 

                        Lupin, Sirius, Fred and George were having a field day. "Well," Sirius managed through his laughter, "that's what the he gets for saying his dress was prettier than hers!" 

            "Hey, when you've got it, flaunt it!" Fred declared.

            The din of the bar fight and the horribly off-key singing of Tonks, Scully and Hermione couldn't distract Arthur Mulder from their UFO theories and Mulder's "fan club" from him. 

            Ginny looked up a Mulder with a dreamy smile. "Mr. Mulder," she said sweetly. "will you marry me?"

            Mulder was taken quite by surprised by this. He opened his mouth to say something but Luna jumped in first, with the same love-induced sweet tone. "No, you're going to marry me!"

            Mulder looked up at Arthur for helped but he just shrugged. Mulder took a swig of butterbeer as Luna and Ginny continued to argue. Alien abductions he could handle but this was out of his league. Luckily, Scully steeped in to solve the problem, drunk as she was. 

            Scully walked tipsily over to the table and pulled Ginny and Luna out of Mulder's lap by the backs of their robes. "Hey…little…little girls…back off…he's mine!!" She tried to steady herself but failed and Mulder jumped up to catch her. She looked up at him and, still in a drunken stupor said, "Mulder…did I ever tell you how…how handsome you are?"

            "No Scully, I don't believe you have."

            "Well, you are…" Scully grinned up at him then grabbed his tie, pulled him down to her and kissed him. 

            When she let him go he said, "Scully, I'm flattered and all, but I think you've had one too many drinks."

            "What do you mean too many? We're just getting started!" She made a grand gesture back to Tonks and Hermione still seated at the bar. "My pals and I have only gone…" She started to count on her fingers. "One…two….seven…four…three….nine….six….ten! Ten rounds!"

            "I think ten may be you limit, Scully," Mulder said, raising his eyebrows at her as she rejoined her pals at the bar and they began they're seventh chorus of their now-infamous drinking song. 

            Mulder was about to pursue the subject but a bright flash of light from outside made him completely forget his partner's…less than professional…behavior. In Mulder's mind bright flashes of light could only mean on thing: aliens. He grabbed Arthur and began to pull him outside saying, "Time to see if my theory is right…"

A/n: Well now, wasn't that fun? Aren't y'all glad I continued? I know you are. To show you gratitude, just click the little review button down there and leave a comment or two. What's coming your way in Chapter 4? Well…we finally met some aliens, Snape gets a new dress, Ron's pants are gone, Ginny, Luna and Scully duke it out over Mulder…and much, much more.  

            Oh and just to clarify, yes, I realize that they probably wouldn't have Jose Cuervo, or any type to tequila for that matter, at the Three Broomsticks, but for the sake of humor and because I love the Tracy Byrd song, let's just pretend. The song doesn't quite work so well as "Ten Rounds with Ogden's Old Firewiskey" now does it? 

~Mulder

"Do you have a picture of the spaceship?"

Disclaimer: Here we go again. All things Potter belong to the single-mom-turned-best-selling-billionaire JK Rowling; all things X-Files belong to the pro-surfer-turned-writer/director/producer Chris Carter; all lyrics to "Ten Rounds with Jose Cuervo" belong to hick-turned-country-star Tracy Byrd; the plot and everything else belong to the insane-insomniac-UFO chasing-X-Files watching-anime fan girl-Harry Potter reading-baseball fan-writer-turned-insane-insomniac-UFO chasing-X-Files watching-anime fan girl-Harry Potter reading-baseball fan-FAN FICTION writer me, Samantha J. Mulder

Hope you enjoyed your stay here in random insanity land.   


	4. A Lovely Day In Hogsmeade

A/n: Ahoy once more! Boy howdy, it sure feels swell to FINALLY finish another chapter of this story. I love this story, I really do, and I know y'all do too but I haven't had time to work on it! Randomness is truly an art, folks. Anyway, have at it!

Harry Potter and the Alien Abduction

Chap. 4:  A Lovely Day in Hogsmeade

          Mulder and Arthur hurried outside with Ginny, Luna, Sirius, Lupin, Fred, George, and the still rather drunk Tonks, Hermione and Scully, in toe. When the arrived outside the Three Broomsticks they found a scene that was all at once surprising, ridiculous and left them all awestruck. In front of them was, as Mulder predicted, a large, shiny sliver disk-shaped craft which, Mulder whispered excitedly to Arthur, was the UFO they'd been looking for. Standing outside the craft were two slender gray figures in shiny space suits, Harry, looking rather confused, Ron, who didn't have any pants or robes and was standing looking rather embarrassed in a pair of boxer shorts in Gryffindor colors and Snape whose first frilly pink dress had disappeared and was now decked out in an even frillier, pinker one. 

            Mulder was practically shaking with excitement as he said to Arthur, "See! I knew it! I've been telling everyone for years that the aliens were grey!" Arthur grinned broadly as he and Mulder made their way towards the aliens. 

            Mulder stretched out a hand to the first one and said, "Special Agent Fox Mulder. It's a pleasure to meet you. My government back home has been keeping you guys under wraps for years! Boy, is it great to finally meet you!"

            The alien stared at him blankly.

            Arthur extended his hand to the second alien. "Arthur Weasley. I'd like to welcome you to Hogsmeade on behalf of wizard-kind!" He said, more dramatically than necessary.

            The alien stared at him blankly. 

            "Er, Mulder," Arthur whispered, "I don't think they understand us, mate."

            Before Mulder could answer, the door opened and inside they could see a control deck and Ron's pants draped over what looked like the captain's chair. What happened next all happened very fast and left everyone quite confused.

            The first alien grabbed Harry and shoved him on board. The second ran to Scully and took the bottle of Jose Cuervo clutched in her hand and then the first marched Snape on board. The door then slammed shut after the aliens and there was a great whirring sound as the ship lifted off the ground. 

            "HARRY!" Shouted Hermione, who was sobering up a bit.

            "TEQUILA!" Shouted Tonks and Scully, looking saddened.

            "Snape!" Shouted Fred, George, Sirius and Lupin, all in raging laughter. 

            "MY PANTS!" Shouted Ron, looking rather embarrassed. 

            Mulder and Arthur looked at each other, dumbstruck. Aliens and UFO's they had expected but aliens who dress people in frilly pink dresses? Aliens who wanted Jose Cuervo? Aliens who stole people's PANTS? This was getting out of control…

A/n: I love this story. I don't know if it'll ever end! It's just too much fun to write! Any suggestions on what amazing turns the "plot" should take next? Review and tell me! I'm thinking along the lines of, oh, Rita Skeeter, maybe? And perhaps even Mad-Eye and Dumbledore. Plus, more tequila for Tonks and Scully, more fun with UFOs and MOST IMPORTANTLY, more of Snape in a frilly, frilly pink dress! So review, and come back for chapter 5!

Mulder

And now, Scully and Tonks will read the disclaimer:

Scully and Tonks: And after 3 rounds with Jose Cuervo, I let 'em lead me out on the floor and after 5 rounds with Jose Cuervo I was showin' off moves never seen before….

Ahem…I'll do it myself then…D/c: I don't own it, you don't sue. You dig, paly? Swell.  


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